J!NXED

Hi All,

Ok, so I was cruising through the photos on the J!NX website yesterday. Oftimes you can come across some pretty funny stuff but, at other times, the photo section appears to be used by girls & young (and some not so young) women who take some pretty provocative snapshots of themselves. Anyways, one of the pics is of a girl who has silky jet black hair and (assuming that she's not wearing contacts) some stunning green eyes. The pic evoked more than a few responses with folks complimenting her eyes and looks in general. One that stood out to me was the following: "! i love the name ocarina (hopefully as in ocarina of time) 2 i love your style 3 im not hitting on you but you, my dear, are gorgeous!"

I know, I know.... You're probably wondering, "Why did this particular response stand out to you, Kevin? There's really nothing special about it." You're right! There IS nothing special about the RESPONSE. The thing that stands out is the poster's NAME. I hate to break it to this lad (I'm assuming it's a lad) but, if you really....truly....and sincerely want a girl to believe that you're not hitting on them and your compliments are genuine, it would be advisable to not have the user name.... Adventurer HornyCow.

Kevin

Days of Saturday Mornings Past

It's 7:00am on a Saturday morning. Daina won't get back from Portland until this Monday morning, so I figured that I'd visit an old friend.... Saturday Morning Cartoons. Only.... my friend wasn't there. Oh, there was something for kids 5 and under on PBS but that's ok. Long has PBS been the venue for the more junior execs of the Saturday Morning living room. Sesame Street, The Electric Company, The Great Space Coaster, etc. That's fine. I always believed the shortest of the shorties need orientation programs before they can understand the complexity of navigating the vast array of the more advanced viewing fare that they will face on Saturday Mornings. Rather than spend my time warming up with PBS, I decided to go right to the powerhouses.... NBC, CBS, and the venerable ABC. Now you're talkin'! These are the titans of Saturday Mornings! Who could escape their black hole strength pull on the eyes and minds of millions of Saturday Morning viewers across this great nation of ours.... who’d want to?

Ok, let’s just work up the channels then. NBC…Nbc…nbc… ???? Let’s check this remote to see if I’m on the right channel because this is the Today show. Hold on a second. The Today show DOES air on NBC! What the….!? Ok, let’s go to CBS then…. What the hell is Weekend Wake Up!? I’m already awake! I don’t need an hour-long program to tell me that!! Ok, ABC then! Good ol’ ABC! You won’t fail me! Long have you been the mightiest bastion of Saturday Morning Cartoondom! Who could match your unrivaled power when you drew the mighty sword of Warner Brothers? Hah! Animation! I knew you wouldn’t fail me! Let’s see….The Emperor’s New School? Ok, don’t be too hasty to judge, Kevin. After all, you really liked The Emperor’s New Groove. (30 minutes later) Ok, that wasn’t too bad. Kronk was pretty funny.

Quick check back with NBC….Nope, still the Today show. If I remember right, that damn thing is two hours long so there’s no point checking back with NBC until, at least, 9:00am. Hmm, CBS is still showing Weekend Wake Up! Well…yay them. Ok, then….back to ABC! The Replacements? Hmm, this isn’t based on that football movie with that thespian tour de force, Keanu Reeves, is it? Well, let’s take a look at it ‘cause…. (5 viewing minutes later) ….’cause I have to pass this channel on my way to another one. HEY!! What about WUTV!? The home of Astro Boy, Prince Planet, Ultraman, Battle of the Planets (G-Force), and the time honored Star Blazers! Ok, so what do we have here…Archie’s Weird Mysteries? Look, the Archies were, at best, a mediocre cartoon back in the day. And the only mystery with Archie is that he’s had two FINE-ASS women chasing him for what….four or more decades…and never tapped either of them! Supports my theory of Archie’s unrequited homosexual love for Jughead. They should move the whole gang out of Riverdale and drop them in Rivendell ‘cause Gimli would take Betty & Veronica into his bed chamber and knock something loose down there….he’d totally RUIN those chicks!!

Ok, it’s now 8:00am. The Today show is still going strong on NBC. On CBS I have a difficult decision…. Care Bears: Adventures in Care-A-Lot followed by Strawberry Shortcake. I lost the remote so I have a difficult decision on whether I want to keep looking for it or actually get up off of the couch and go over to change the channel! Here’s the real killer! On ABC there’s Good Morning America: Weekend Edition, which goes to 9:00am followed by A.M. Buffalo, then House Smarts, then back-to-back episodes of That’s So Raven, then Hannah Montana, and the torture ends with Suite Life of Zack & Cody. Great! More canned filth from Disney….Nazi douche bags! Which finds us at high noon where ABC launches into the delightful land of paid programming…You’re dead to me ABC!! DEAD!!

I was going to continue on with the rest of the morning up until noon when the kids should be outside playing by then anyways. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. NBC is pretty much adult programs until 11:00am where they have Jane and the Dragon. I’ve seen this show before. The story lines and dialogue are actually passable at times, however, there’s something in the CGI’d movement of the characters that makes you want to kick them until they’re all dead! CBS has Cake, Horseland (don’t ask me I don’t know but I don’t need to know), then Sushi Pack, Dino Squad, and Teen Kids News. YES….Yes, they’re every bit as awful as they sound. That leaves WUTV. Unfortunately, the fare on WUTV is little better than 30 minute animated commercial slots to sell the toys and cards that these cartoons are based upon. Remember, when cartoons use to come out first and then the related merchandise would follow….not the other way around? Let me give you an example. Between 8:00am and 9:00am are back-to-back episodes of a cartoon called Viva Piñata. Viva Piñata is a game for the Xbox 360 that eventually spawned (pretty accurate description) this cartoon of the same name. Here’s a brief synopsis:

In a garden on Piñata Island, a multitude of happy, colorful Piñata species live, frolic, dance, and grow. The goal of the piñatas is to fill themselves with candy, so they can be chosen by Piñata Central to entertain at birthday parties or retirement parties and other special celebrations. The piñatas have their own gardens and love to party. Each species is a blend of an animal and a sweet type of food.
It is here in the garden, among the burrowing Profitamole, the bovine Moozipan and the tree-swinging Cinnamonkey that we will find a small band of Piñata friends that have known one another since they were children when they first came to the garden.
Being a piñata means something different for piñatas. Some Piñatas can’t wait to reach their maximum candy level so they can leave the Piñata Factory over and over again, bringing joy to children and partygoers all over the world. Others are not happy about the prospect of being shipped off to a strange place where happy children in festive hats hang them from a tree, bludgeon them until their limbs fall off, and devour their innards. Still others physically train for the parties as if they were off to the Olympic Games — hardening their bodies to create a challenge for the children clamoring to get at their candy.
Why is it that Piñata Island is the only place in the world Piñatas can be found? Even the Piñatas don’t really know—but with so much happening in the garden, what with weird new Piñatas arriving all the time, crazed black-market Piñata poachers trying to muscle in on Piñata Central action, mysteries to solve, violent garden pests known as sours to contend with, and constant opportunities to dance—who has time to worry about it?

Yes, this is for real! Yes, I looked this shit up! No, I’m not feeling all that proud of myself at the moment! I feel the need to get into the shower and scrub my skin until it bleeds!!
Anyways, my point is that, Saturday Mornings are no longer the brief escape from the normal woes that accompany childhood. There’s nothing to look forward to in regards to Saturday Morning Cartoons. Can they still be found on cable? Of course, but that taints it somehow. I dunno why, it just does. Kind of like chasing that inexpressible dream that was out there somewhere but time has passed it by. Cartoons have no substance nowadays. Kids walk away from them with absolutely nothing or some cheesy lesson that their parents should have taught them in the first place. Cartoons are entertainment and an escape and even an enrichment! There are those who would say to me, “Aww, c’mon! Look at what you watched! How are you gonna tell me that, after watching cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck, that you came away with anything more than the kids watching Pokemon & Yu-Gi-Oh?” Easy! Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck were my first exposure to Beethoven, Mozart, Rossini, Wagner, and many other classical composers. Hell, Daffy even showed me that you don’t always win. Sometimes life just plain sucks but you rebound and come back next time.
I guess I just got overly excited at the prospect of spending a quiet Saturday morning watching cartoons for a change. I’m serious….I was REALLY looking forward to this last night as I went to bed, each time I got up in the night to pee, and when my alarm clock this morning was a cardinal perched on the hemlock right outside my bedroom window singing in the gentle morning rain. This all came crashing down on me when I realized that the days of broadcast television’s weekly high point, the Saturday Morning Cartoons, a part of my childhood was gone. Ya know what? That just plain sucks. I guess I’ll just have to stand back up, brush the dust off, and move onto something else I really like.

Kevin

Has it been that long?

Hi Everyone,



Daina and I awoke this morning only to realize that, on this very day, nine years ago we exchanged our wedding vows. Many of you were there on that day. I don't know about all of you but it certainly doesn't feel like nine years to us.



What sparked this was not the fact that today actually is our ninth anniversary but rather I received an email request from Facebook. It was my niece and godchild, Keelin, asking to confirm her request for me to be added as a friend on her personal Facebook page. I clicked on the link so I could confirm her friend request when I noticed that she had a picture of herself and a friend (it looked like they were at an amusement park... Darien Lake, I'm guessing) posted on her webpage.



For those who may not remember, Keelin was the flower girl for our wedding. If I close my eyes, I can remember it as if it had just happened seconds ago. Walking up the aisle with a basket of white rose pedals was this little, cute as a ladybug, four year old girl who was all smiles while looking at the faces of people she had never seen before that day. She was dropping a few pedals here and there when she reached my aunt Dolores sitting in the aisle seat of the front row to Keelin's right. I don't profess to know the exact inner workings of a four year old girl's mind but, for whatever reason, Keelin did a double take (probably just to make sure that it was INDEED her great aunt she was seeing), grabbed as many flower pedals out of the basket as could fit in her tiny hand, and proceeded to florally assault her great aunt by pelting her with a well aimed handful of white rose pedals. It was, of course, done out of a child's playfulness as Keelin was grinning from ear to ear. Everyone in the church that witnessed this, burst out in a mild wave of laughter... even the pastor. It was one of those preciously spontaneous moments in life that, had I the power to change it and just have everything go as smoothly as it did for the wedding rehearsal, I would not have done so... to this day. I thought (and still think) that, even though weddings are very formal affairs, they are also a coming together of people from different walks of life, to witness the bonding and beginning of love between two people at its deepest level of commitment and feeling... the bonding of two families to mark the beginning of a new one. I couldn't think of a better way than the lighthearted laughter brought about by Keelin to make everyone there relax and realize that they were among family. Ok, if I go any further, I'll be run out of town on a rail for needlessly digressing. My point was that I remember it with crystal clarity.


So, I get to Keelin's Facebook page and click on her picture to get a better look. Starring back at me was no longer a cute little four year old, all full of smiles and giggles, but a beautiful young girl (probably still full of smiles and giggles if my experience teaching summer school to 9th graders holds true across the board). My cute little Keelin is now a beautiful young girl on the threshold of becoming a woman. Here was the evidence that nine years have passed since Daina and I placed a ring on each other's finger. Those nine years have been kind to both of them, but in different ways. The changes that I could see in my niece, I couldn't (and still can't) see in my wife... she's still that same beautiful bride standing with me on the altar and looking into my eyes. I hope that your past nine years have been as blessed as mine.

Kevin

4th Edition Classes

Hi All,

Ok, for those of us who opened the 4th Edition Player's Handbook and thought, "What the f#*%!! Where is the Barbadian, Bard, Druid, and Monk classes!?" Apparently, according to the Wizards of the Coast D&D website, these classes will be released in future 4th Edition material. Why didn't they put these classes in the 4th Edition Player's Handbook? Well, I'm thinking (and you all know the song so sing it with me), "Money, money, money, money.... MONEY!!"

I swear, if they release a 4.5 Edition I'm going to travel to Seattle, Washington and insert garden gnomes (feet first) into every employee of Wizards of the Coast and then travel to Pawtucket, Rhode Island to do the same to the corporate execs at Hasbro!

I'm not overly impressed with what I've seen so far, however, I've just given the PH, DMG, and the MM precursory glances and have started reading the PH in earnest just last night and this morning. So I guess I'll hold my final judgment of the 4th Edition material until I've had a chance to give it a thorough read. Unfortunately, one of the most anticipated features of 4th Edition (the online tools application) is going to require a monthly fee of $14.95! HELL, NO!! I don't mind paying a one time fee for this shite, but I have enough monthly fees in my life not to add another one! I guess they're gearing it to the 30+ yrs crowd who still live in their parent's basement. It's truly a shame as the online tools look like they might be the best feature of 4th Edition. Oh well, anyone ready for our next gaming session on the 28th? We'll be using 3.5, by the way. =>)


Kevin

Firefly/Serenity

Hey Guys,

Ok, Daina and I just finished watching Serenity last night. That completes our viewing of all the Firefly episodes and the movie. The series was nothing short of fantastic and had me ordering my own DVD set of both the Firefly series and the movie, Serenity, by the time I finished watching the second episode! As I mentioned, the series was great! However, I do have a few issues with the movie.

First off, it had a much darker feel than the series (which movies often do). However, I felt that Serenity was extremely dark! It was like watching a Mick Farren novel that was made into a movie! Don't get me wrong, I thought the movie was very good. It's just that I have a couple gripes with it.

It really stunk to see Book die! We never did get to find out about his past and now that's never going to happen. While the shepard's death really sucked, what sucked even more was the death of Wash! Why!? I can almost understand Book's death as being a catalyst to activate Mal's "pissed off circuitry", however, Wash's death did absolutely NOTHING to add to or further the storyline! It's like it was just thrown in there for shock effect, which is a cheesy factor that the series was able to avoid. It would've made more sense for River or Simon to die! River, and the knowledge she possessed, pretty much became a "non-issue" once Mal got the video surveillance from the planet Miranda. And Simon? Well, let's just say that he was downright annoying when compared to Wash. I just liked Wash's character more. Finally, I really think that the death of Book and Wash pretty much cemented the notion of not revisiting Firefly....ever! At least, with all the characters alive, there was the far reaching hope for another run. They could still do one with the characters they have now, of course, but it just wouldn't be the same. Seriously, what would be the point? I already hated Fox for the smoke and mirrors they created during the second presidential election of Bush . But dropping Firefly before it even finished its first season, has secured a top spot for them in my all time shit list!

Anyways, the whole run was great! Thanks for turning Daina and I on to a great show! We'll definitely be watching the series over and over although I can't say that we'll know all the lines to "The Man They Called Jayne".

Kevin

UBCon Wrap Up

Hey Everyone,

Thanks for coming to UBCon this year. I had a great time and I hope you all did as well. I, Daina, Dean, and Walter had the unique opportunity and privilege to game under a master DM, Nick Logue. Nick has worked for Wizards of the Coast and Paizo and has created many D&D adventures. We got to play some of his creations, not to mention we had a sneak peek at one that is due out in June. I'm sure I speak for everyone that attented in saying that, in all the years I've attented UBCon I have never had such a fantastic, vibrant, animated, and interesting DM as Mr. Logue. He takes gaming to the next level. You can be sitting on a hard chair for 4 - 5 hours and never be aware of your butt getting numb or sore. The guy grabs your attention and interest from the time he enters the room to the time he leaves. The best part about it is....He's going to be back next year!

The only way to have even a prayer of a chance to get into one of Nick Logue's games at UBCon is to pre-register. We saw numerous people turned away from his various events. I'd say that your best bet is to start monitoring the UBCon website sometime in late January or early February. Usually SARPA doesn't put up a con book on their site until a couple weekes before the con, however, they have been known to post them as early as a month to a month and a half before the con in the past. I will be monitoring the UBCon site very closely so, if you want me to either pre-register you or send you notice the moment I see the con book go up, then just let me know. Please indicate what it is you wish me to do. If you want me to notify you, I'll do just that. I'll email you. If you want me to pre-register for you, please indicate whether you want me to pre-register for just Nick Logue run D&D events or for Nick Logue run D&D events and any other D&D events that fall into a time slot that Nick Logue doesn't DM. If you want me to register for you I'll need your home address, phone number, and email address. I know this sounds kind of extreme but, trust me, if you have ever played a game DM'd by the man, you wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to do it again. Daina, Dean, and Walter will all testify to that, I'm sure.

Thanks to all who came, Daina, Maureen, Dean, Brandy, Walter, and Jerry. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves and look forward to seeing you at our next monthly meeting in May. Take care.

Kevin

P.S. Don't worry, Jerry, we'll get you rezzed at the next major town or city we get to.

UBCon

Greetings Everyone,
(If you read nothing else in this email, at least read the last two paragraphs.)

We'll be in Norton 209 or 210 or 216 around 1:00pm or so today (Saturday the 12th). Darryl picked out three rooms that we may want and we can choose which one of the three when we get there. If you don't see us there, go to Norton Room 203 (Darryl's Office). See you this afternoon!

On another note, Daina and I played in the D&D event/game Grey Matters last night. It was DM'd by Nicholas Logue who is an author/designer for Wizards of the Coast and Paizo. Many of the games he's DMing this weekend are his.

He came in with a friendly and easy-going presence that put everyone at ease. There were a couple guys there that never played beyond 2nd Edition but he just told them that it was no big deal, which it really wasn't since 3.5 is the easiest of the D&D editions to learn.

Like any master DM he slipped right into the adventure and made it look so easy, natural, and flowing, that we were all totally sucked into the story. Nick was energetic and very detailed in his explanations...even with the battle scenes. The characters were well matched to the villians but, like any great adventure, there was the "white knuckle" moment where it didn't look like we were going to make it. In our darkest hour was when the tide eventually turned and we prevailed....well, in a Dirty Pair kind of way as our characters and just a handful of civilians remained standing when the dust cleared.

I must say that, in all of my years at UBCon, I've never played a better game or had a better DM (remember, I'm talking about UBCon only and not our regular gaming group). What a difference when you have a guy who's a master storyteller because, let's face it....rpg adventures are in essence a great story in which you (as a player) have a hand in the telling. My only hope is that this guy hasn't set the bar too high in what I'm to expect when I go to UBCon next year!

He DM's two more games on Sunday, which Daina and I have pre-registered for and can't wait to play. Both of these games are creations of his own. The first one, Razor Coast, is a mega-adventure set to be released to the public either later this Spring or sometime this Summer, so we're getting a sneak peek. The other one, Eyes of the Lich Queen: Curse of the Dragon’s Eye, is another ongoing large adventure that we're getting to play a "director’s cut episode" from. I know that Eyes of the Lich Queen is already "sold out". As for Razor Coast, I know that Nick mentioned he had a few extra characters for so you might be able to sit in on it if you show up early enough but there's, of course, no guarantee.

Which leads me to my next and last musing. Daina and I had I fantastic time playing last night. How much better would it have been if we had our friends sitting next to us. For next year's UBCon, please, Please, PLEASE, pre-register! It, almost always, assures you a seat at the game you want to play and the best part is....It costs you absolutely NOTHING until you show up at the registration desk on opening night of the con to pick up your con packet! If you don't pick up your con packet you don't have to pay....plain and simple. We must have seen almost 10 people drop by to see if there was any available spots at the game last night. At one point, Daina turned to me and said, "Pre-registration....Who's feeling it!?" The entire weekend costs only $15 which got me thinking.

We could even have a "UBCon Pool Jar" where, each time we get together, we set it out on the bathroom table. If you have any spare change or want to make a little donation, it's there for you to chip in. It's in the bathroom with a lid on the jar so we can't see if anyone has made a donation or not. At our gathering a month before UBCon, we loosen the lid on the jar in the bathroom and anyone that needs the money for a weekend pass to UBCon can have it! At the end of our gathering we reseal the jar for next year without looking in it so we don't even know if anyone used the money inside. Anything left over just gives us a good start for the following year. Hell, I may even need to dip into it one of these years! There's no obligation to put anything in it. We won't know who contributed what amount. The person needing the money just takes it behind closed doors so we won't know who needed it so, no pride lost. Most importantly, we end up having friends being able to go to the con which is payment in itself! Whadda ya think?

There's something that goes even deeper here. While we were playing last night, Daina wrote on one of my notebook pages, "I'm having a GREAT time! Thanks, Tom!" Remember the reason why we're together as a group in the first place. It's to honor the request of an absent friend. Ok, as always, I've rambled on incessantly and have typed far too much! I look forward to seeing you all today. Take care!

Kevin